Friday, October 22, 2010

Ridin' Solo

Just a few thoughts for today. I guess when I started this blog I thought it might be a good idea to help me deal with being by myself for the first time since high school! Yes that's right high school. In August my boyfriend and I decided to end a six year relationship. We've done it all. Went to different high schools...I went to college--he's in high school...he went to ISU--I'm at Hawkeye Community College...I came to ISU we live with roommates...Moved in together last year...Moved to a 2 bedroom...Now he's Moved out and I'm all alone. At least the break up was mutual and we still talk which is nice in a way. I'm just learning to live my life for just myself for the first time in over 6 years! It has been an experience so far! I hate making people mad, so doing stuff to please other gets a little frustrating.
B has been moved out since September and I still haven't found a roommate! B is still paying the rent and I don't mind living alone I just don't want to deal with him having to pay 2 rents.
I still can't do anything right...I'm trying to move on yet now he's wanting to hang out more. I try to please him still and then when he's mad at me he doesn't have to talk to me. I'm at the crap end of the pool and don't know how to get the hell out!
Well I'm sure I've said to much already but I don't know what to do. I feel a little lost and want to start fresh but can't when I don't know what B wants!! I just wish I could worry about myself first.

1 comment:

  1. Crazy. I broke up with my ex in August after 5 years. We had been through it all as well. She was moving in with me and moved out after two weeks or so. Luckily I have a roommate to go home to. I know exactly how you feel. If you need to talk to me about anything feel free to. But just keep this is mind. This helped me out...

    Life is what YOU make it.