Being Alone

Being alone makes me wonder:

Who do you call at the end of your day to unload?

What do you plan your day around?

Where's your shoulder to cry on?

When are you able to stop holding everything in?

How do you honestly get through a day?

These are the questions going through my head right now. I'm so lost it's unbearable. I feel alone when i don't have someone to talk to. That's all I want! Just someone who will know me inside and out and talk about my days with. That's all I've ever wanted! I want to be put first for once...I want to be someone else's number one.

I guess when you've never had to do this since probably around 7th grade...it's a hard thing to do.Especially when it's been the same person since you were 17.

Here's another thing that's bothering me--How come guys can't have friends that are girls? I don't understand what goes on inside a guys head so I'll never get that, but also if there are some guys...then y can't other guys trust them...whatever....I'm over it!

I'll blog later about my exoerience at the Craker Barrel today...that was a first for me!

Prom Back Home

Just wanted to share a couple pictures of my gorgeous LiL SiS Stephy!! Steph just had her Senior Prom this weekend so I drove home for just the day to play paparazzi for a day. Makes me sad that she's growing up so fast yet SUPER excited becuz within a few months this little miss will grace the ISU campus with her presence!!! Steph is coming to ISU in the fall for school and I couldn't be happier that I have one more year to spend some quality time with her. Love my Lil Sis so much!

Anybody else think she should be doing some freakin' modeling? Maybe I'm a little bias?! :)

5K-I Think I Can...I Think I Can!!

I decided on March 24th (last Thursday) that I'm going to run a 5K on April 9th!! Whoo!

This required me to run 1.5 miles that day and my first whole 3 today! I ran my whole 3 miles in almost exactly 30 mins...and I walked pry 1/2 the last mile! So I have a feeling I'll be definitely ready for the 5K on the 9th!

That weekend I'm driving home after classes on Friday at 3...Visiting with G-ma...probably catching up with Jenny before running in the morning...going to bed early...then Race Day! On Saturday I'll run at 8:30 am then chill for a little while maybe get a nap in...then drive back to Ames...get ready and go to work! WHEW! It's gunna be a long haul that day! :) Can't Wait!

On another subject...I have an interview at the Hilton Garden Inn with the Banquet Coordinator! This is super exciting to me because it would be a different job than I've done before! Also the location is close to my sister's apartment in Des Moines! :)

So wish me luck on my new adventures and good luck to ya'll on yours!!

Last Night in a Nutshell

So as requested by Jake here are my "thoughts" on last night.

Yesterday started with Beverages class...having a good time in class...just at the point where I realize it's hitting me hard...I get handed the 5th bottle to open....Awesome! It took everything I had to not make it obvious that I was getting drunk. Opening that bottle was a great accomplishment in itself! So class gets over and I'm tanked. I haven't drank for 2 weeks....and I'm ALWAYS a light weight anyway.

B picked me up and we ate at Cocos which was all a little fuzzy. Then we went to Cyclone Liquors and went to the wine tasting for class...where we talked to Cale -(he works there thank god! I might need him to refresh me on some of the wine I tasted!) Then I came back home and showered and got ready to go out...which required me to finish an old bottle of wine in my fridge and play Wario Smooth Moves for a little bit. While Jodi laughed at how dumb this game is! :)

B picked me up after his meeting and we picked up Grant and headed to "the bars" aka Sips of course! We got a beer tower for B ad Grant and I got a new mug with a Long Island in it. My first Long Island actually.

When we first get there one girl from a few of my classes is there celebrating her 21st. Her friend is at the bar getting a mug...and of COURSE this girl at the bar knows B because he goes to perfect games with Cale and she works there or something I don't really know or really care....anyway...they talk or whatever blah blah blah! So were at our table and I'm standing next to B while he's sitting down...and Grants on his other side. I have leaned in at this point for numerous kisses and hugs from B...Lets just say it's obvious he's here with me at this point...anyway...we re-situated and Mitch showed up (B's other friend) and now Me n B are across from each other and Grants to my right and Mitch is to my left.

Me and Grant are having a lovely conversation. B is bouncing around from bar to table...but finally sits down for awhile...This BROAD has the balls to walk to to B and start not only talking to him but touch his arm n stuff...so I turn my attention to glaring her down dramatically...Grant notices but keeps talking as to not make it seem like that's what I'm doing...but I'm being drunkenly obvious and I hold up my hand and tell him to hold on I'm busy....So I continue to glare her down...as of right now Grant's terrified and glad...terrified I'm gunna jump across the table and glad there's a beer tower in the middle of it in my way! :) So she finally walks away and I'm beyond jealous drunk gf stage...BUT me and Grant continue talking until they decide to go play some pool. We go over there and I had to pee so I go and run into Lacey--the Birthday girl from my class--n we go get her a shot (after peeing of course) at the bar from Tom. She said they're going to Cy's for pitchers. I tried to tell her to talk to Melvin, who's the manager there...but she's 11 sheets to the wind and can't quite understand me to I'm like lets tell ur friends...who does she run me over to but that girl! So i'm trying to save face and told her to talk to Melvin when they get to Cy's because he's the manager...THIS BITCH turns around and is like "why? Doesn't he work here?"...I'm like "No he used to but now he manages Cy's." She then Flips her hair and give me the cold shoulder. So I buy Lacey her shot and go on my way. Even tho at this point I'm to drunk to care and want to throw the bitch to the ground.

Anyway my whole point to this story is here are my feelings about this....

Anger-because I wanna kill her.

Frustration- because I don't know where me n B are actually. which means I don't wanna ruin this for him if she really likes him...but I WANT HIM and he's mine bitch! Which I'm not scared to show if I know that's what B wants.

Pissed off- beacuse I know she just did that to piss me of...ya I know it worked!

Whatever the whole thing pisses me off because girls are dumb that's it end of story! WHY did she do that...to piss me off. Ya well what she really did, unbeknownst to her, was give Bradley a false sense of-O I can be single and get girls I don't need Jen and that relationship crap. Awesome! Thanks a lot bitch! So here's where I am stuck between either were together or were not there's no more just we are what we are because I'm getting the crap end of this deal! I didn't know when he's going out every weekend meeting chicks n acting completely single (boys are just as dumb) You can't have both.

So yep there ya are...my thoughts and feelings for today...well ya there's also that feeling of death...the actual thing not feeling like it...that comes along with your first long island...which for the record I finished outta my new mug!

Last Weeks View

This what I just experienced last week. Beautiful Puerto Rico! I'm glad I went and had the time of my life! This trip just made me want to travel everywhere now!

Puerto Rico...Here I COME!

Hello Folks...exciting news to report!
I am going to Puerto Rico! I say this is unofficial because I have to buy my ticket tonight! Yes that's right no ticket yet. I decided on tuesday that I was goin to go even if it killed me...so this required a lot a fanagaling to get the job done!
First was telling to mom...yep try calling your mother on a tuesday and say "Hey mom I'm leaving to Puerto Rico in one week" She was excited because obviously we've known abotu this trip for awhile...just didn't think I was going. Long story...Anyway...
Second was my license...it's a paper one because I didn't think I was going and forgot that the "real" licenses take awhie to get here now. So that came in the mail today. TODAY people!
Third was my job...yep I was supposed to work the 16th 3:30-cl, 18th train 4-cl, 19th 4-cl, and 20th 4-cl. Went in to work yesterday and switched my training day and found a replacement for that wed (the 16th)...found a replacement today for saturday...and still waiting to see if Kelly might work my sunday...but sunday isn't a curcial day they would need a replacement.
Fourth is my 383 Exam. I called Burger on wednesday because I was just going to go in there at like 10am, but called to make sure that was a good idea...instead he informed me that making an appointment to talk would be best. Well he sented me and appt. requests and it was for friday...umm....so I emailed him back informing him of why I wanted to meet with him and that it involed moving my test...so I will have that formally figured out after class today. The last thing holding me back from buying that ticket is this test!
Wheeeeeew! This has been a hell of a week on top of this excitement! Now it's on to buying a dress and swimsuit!

Sorry about spelling errors was too excited to care! :)

Bring it on!

This is my week...

Monday

-Test in AESHM 342

-Lots of homework for AESHM 311

Tuesday

-After classes going to DM to get shirt (that I left at KT's) for the Career Fair

Wednesday (busy Day)

-Class at 9

-Career Fair at 12

-Class at 2

-Work 3:30-8ish

Thrusday

-Study in library all morning for...

-Test in Acct.

Friday

-Test in JLMC 220

-Work

-GOING OUT!!

....in a nutshell. Hope your week is going well. I'm keeping a positive attitude about this week or I'll never make it out alive!

On an unrelated note...a week from today is Valentines Day which will be the first time in 5 years I have been "technically" single! Whoa!

A Few Random Thoughts

Riding the bus to and from campus everyday this week (sometimes 2x's in one day) gave me a lot of time to think on my travels. Here are some of my random bus thoughts for you all to enjoy:

* Personal Hygiene

-This is a requirement for riding the bus. In particularly when you sit next to someone the whole way home even with empty seats open halfway there. Under this category falls things like taking showers, brushing your teeth (and either not yawning your bad breath on me or keeping your breath under control), putting on deodorant, clean clothes are appreciated as well as controlling long hair that is not groomed well.

*Chewing gum

-This is a privilege that is given to responsible well mannered adults. Not douchebags that chew with their mouths open, tongue rolling around making annoying to others. Grow up.

*Headphones

-These are for PERSONAL use ONLY! Headphones were invented so that I don't have to listen to your music selection and I can peacefully listen to mine. Please turn your music down or I will glare at you the whole bus ride and make you as uncomfortable as you are making me!

A lot of those things obviously have to do with the fact I have been riding the bus a lot more lately and observed some things that make me not want to ride it that much anymore. This was just a glimpse of "a ride in the mind of Jennifer". For more random thoughts please feel free to ask I'm usually not to shy about telling people what I'm thinking...once I've been asked.

It's Been Awhile

This semester is flying by me. I keep telling myself to get on the ball becuz once spring break gets here I will be completely worthless as usual! :) I like my classes ( I say at as if I had a choice on what to really take) my classes are basically whatever i have left in HRI to graduate next May.
A lot has happened already this semester. (Besides me putting away my x-mas tree that is still hanging out in our apt.)

Last weekend I went out Friday night for the first time this semester with Izzy (and her bf n friend), Julianne, Mitchell, and B (of course). It was fun. I go to Sips a lot more becuz B's roommate is the manager n a bartender...which means I get awesome drinks and know people there. I also love to dance and love dancing there even early like when nobody is there becuz I have the whole dance floor to myself! :) Julianne drove us home which was much appreciated that night! Thanks to you again!!

Saturday after working I went to Des Moines to visit Katie. We went and saw Olivia at Brian n Nicole's which was nice becuz then I had her all to myself and got to play with her a lot! :) After that we got dressed up and went out to eat at some Brewery I can't remember the name of downtown. Eric n Staci came to meet us and we sat there talking until about 11:30 (which is waaaay past my current bed time of about 10pm). It was awesome just talking to them and seeing Staci's baby bump! :) We attempted to go to a few bars but got to cold and tired so that'll be another adventure some night.

My mom came down yesterday with a dresser from home for KT so I drove down behind her and stayed there again last night. It was great becuz mom made her Chicken Tetrazzini...YUM! We carried in the dresser n I kinda helped mom sand and paint it a little before I had to leave this morning.

In other news Jodi n I have resigned our lease and will be roommates again next year which is great. I have finally gotten my room clean which has been on the list of things to do since before break (Yes I know I'm sure Jodi was just as embarrassed as I was). I have also bought Zumba which has only led to Jodi and I procrastinating even more with the Wii. (Also Party Games, and Mario Kart are not helping the situation).

All in all it's been a good semester so far and have no complaints. Hopefully that will be the trend and keep going!

O I almost forgot to mention that Tuesday...after I left the MU becuz on the tv the were talking about banning texting and walking in big cities....I was texting while waking to Mackay and KICKED A SQUIRREL...yes you just read that...I didn't see him and kicked him...pretty sure it scared the crap outta both of us!

So keep ur eyes up for the sake of those squirrels on campus who do not move outta the way!

New Year Same Shit

So yes it's a new year yet I'm still dealing with the past becuz I'm still in college. Let me explain...NEVER start out at a community college unless you have ur shit together! Either you are going there for a program (such as Dental Hygienist or Occupational Thearpy Assistant) that I understand. I will NEVER tell someone to go get their gen eds there every again unless they know where they wanna go next or what they wanna do for sure. It is not cheaper becuz you end up at a four year anyway or in one of those programs so there's already some years on top of ur 2 years. O lets not forget I went for 2 f-ing years and still didn't have my AA becuz I asked 4 f-ing times to meet with a type of advisor and they kept telling me I couldn't becuz I don't know what I wanted to do (duh y I need the help f-ers) I finally met with one to see if I could finish in one more semester and she was a bitch becuz I had to pretend I wanted to do something medical to see her becuz my roommate was her assistant and got me the appointment. Hawkeye sucks!! Lets see some other facts....o ok so I let there 17 credits shy of my AA (one semester basically) becuz I wanted to do Dietetics so everyone I talked to just said fuck the AA and go get ur bachelors which doesn't require the AA....NOT TRUE BITCHES!! I get here and o ya I have taken Anatomy and Physiology at Hawkeye....but ya that doesn't count and I would have had to retake it becuz o ya you didn't get ur AA so it didn't count! R u f-ing kindding me....So there went Dietetics becuz fuck if I'm going to retake that shit for a major I wasn't happy with in the first place. Also who the fuck would put a student in Chem 177 and 178 that hasn't had Chem since junior year of high school (need I remind you I went 2 years at Hawkeye before this) that's right my advisor. So I crapped all over Dietetics before I could even enjoy the classes that are in that major basically becuz the bullshit of college and that f-ing classes the make you take.

On to my next issue with college...o ya i also to a Western Civ class from this f-ing Russian guy at Hawkeye, but you think that will count towards anything without my AA...you guessed it! So I'm repaying for classes I already took at Hawkeye here at ISU....not only am I gettting charged an arm and a leg for these classes...Hawkeye already took the other arm and leg years ago so pretty much throwing me in a year out into the big pond of life is just going to drown me becuz I have any arms or legs to swim with.....thanks Fuckers!!!

--This message was brought to you by and angry college students sick of dealing with the bullshit of college.